Just what did you have in mind…?

Back in 2014, just for kicks (and to share some fun with blog readers), I published this post. It’s a collection of a few choice behind-the-scenes statistics from my blog. What search terms bring blog readers to Dustedoff. Many had enjoyed this first edition, and just the other day, blog reader kayyessee reminded me of it. It was time for some more humour of that sort, kayyessee said; time for a second edition.

I agreed, completely. The world is so bleak these days, I could certainly do with some hilarity. So here goes. These are actually several years old, search terms which ended up bringing people to my blog.

singing fish let’s go back in time,o mere sona re You could, figuratively, ‘go back in time’ with O mere Sona re; it’s retro enough, I suppose. But ‘singing fish’ stumps me.

old dhamendra. Drunksomngs and oldmdamendra druk songs Both these search terms appeared on the same day. Someone, obviously, had imbibed far too much already but wasn’t ready to give up on old Dharmendra (why not a dishy young Dharmendra, I wonder) and drunk songs.

aunty big ganga sanam pic – I have no idea. At all.

mukesh voice was created to sing sad songs with comments Why Mukesh’s voice was created, I am in no position to comment. I do agree, though, with the implication that he sings sad songs well; though I’ll admit I haven’t heard any of his sad songs with comments. Any comment?

hindi sad song writen in english not sung in Bollywood –  The qualifiers here are a bit bewildering. A Hindi song, but written in English, for one (Roman Urdu? Was that what they were looking for?) And ‘not sung in Bollywood’? Why is that disclaimer even needed?

hindi duet songs songs with a naughty lyrics likw excuse me – I don’t think ‘excuse me’ is naughty, but then that’s just me, I guess: very liberal.

songs to inspire prem baby – I’d like to know who prem baby is. And whether this person searching for songs to inspire prem baby (to do what?) was able to find anything suitable (if so, what?)

madobala song in he logg na – My guess here (a wild guess, I admit) is that the song being referred to is Inhi logon ne. In which case, someone is very confused. Or really needs a crash course in differentiating between one major Hindi film star and another.

johny mera man – Someone got very confused. Though I suppose Hema Malini’s character in Johny Mera Naam could have said this.

hindi songs for licker lovers – Yup. Who doesn’t like a good, devoted, boot-licking sycophant? Or, well, a friendly pet (Beta bow wow wow might be a good suggestion for the latter type of ‘licker lover’). On the other hand, if one looked for songs for liquor lovers, this might be where one might land up: the daaru songs list.  

story parady song in hindi for couple for weeding – I think this person meant ‘wedding’, but the image of two people wanting to sing a parody song (Chaman ke phool bhi tujhko julaab kehte hain?) while weeding? Ah, priceless.

song of rafi and ashamed – I have a feeling this person was searching for Rafi’s duets with Shamshad Begum…

70s most played wicket unty in Bollywood – I think I know what this person was actually looking for (Shashikala? Lalita Pawar?), but the image conjured up is of one badass cricketing lady, with a long innings…

new hindi romantic songs lyrics written by normal people – people of the likes of Javed Akhtar obviously being dismissed as abnormal.

how to display pista house in google – okay, I admit it: no idea. Even more puzzling, what brought them to my blog?  

Kakima blouse back side – The back of kakima’s blouse? Or kakima, her blouse, and her backside? In any case, why?

pyar ka break fast ghazals – This is another of those ‘I’m baffled’ ones. Pyar ka breakfast, yes; I can imagine something cosy in bed. But ghazals, with that? It just doesn’t match.

I should really pay more attention to my blog stats, I think. On a regular basis. If nothing else, they might bring me some unintentional laughs.

24 thoughts on “Just what did you have in mind…?

  1. Those are great! Mine are all looking for Govinda reviews, Govinda pictures, etc.

    I did once search your blog for suggestive scenes in Amrapali, but that’s because I know someone once did a really insightful and entertaining post about it, but who?

    • I do remember you mentioning (was it on your blog, I think?) about the suggestive scenes in Amrapali. I wonder whose blog that was. I really do need to watch that film again.

      I think half the fun in these crazy search terms lies in the words people use, not what they’re searching for. I can perfectly understand someone wanting to search for old Hindi film songs with ‘naughty lyrics’ (though I doubt they’ll find much in the way of smut) but specifying ‘like excuse me’ is a bit much. ;-)

      • I wish I could find it again to see what they had to say about it!

        Haha yes, the search terms are deeply hilarious. I have to say I really want to know what song they were searching for! Only one I can think of with that lyric is My Name is Anthony Gonsalves, which is hardly naughty.

        • Ah, yes. My name is Anthony Gonsalves does have the ‘excuse me’ in it, but it’s certainly not naughty.

          But that makes me wonder… did this person mean ‘naughty’ in the sense you and I consider ‘naughty’, or in the sense of being kiddishly mischievous? In which case, they might have looked for a song that was teasing and funny rather than innuendo-riddled. And in that case, My name is Anthony Gonsalves might actually fit!

  2. Oh dear … I can barely stop laughing! You made my day with this post, great job with your comments :). I’ll look forward to more of these to make my Sundays more cheerful :D.

  3. Oh my god!
    I couldn’t stop laughing throughout. What a hilarious list.
    I read the first part yoo.
    Equally hilarious.
    Thank you for the post, really I forgot all my stress. Thanks a lot.
    And,
    I should find such data on the stat page of my blog. May be someday I’ll write such a post.
    🙂😂

    • I am so glad you liked these, Anupji! Yes, do go have a look at your blog stats too – I’m sure you’ll have accumulated some funny search terms in the years you’ve been blogging. :-)

    • Yay! Glad to have brought a little bit of joy in people’s lives. :-D Though I shouldn’t take the credit for that – the people who went searching and arrived at my blog are responsible. :-)

  4. Thank you for the prompt post. I think we all needed this relief. I am guffawing as I type this!
    I loved Pyar ka breakfast ghazals… which should be followed by pyar ka lunch qawaali?

    Pista house in google looks like a cryptic clue in a crossword. Very very deep !!
    Most played wicket unty in Bollywood was another good one..(which reminded me of the scene in Haseena Maan Jaayegi where the girls play basketball with a football in a golf course dressed in tennis attire except for pooja Batra who is in yoga pants)

    Hindi sad song written in English not sung in Bollywood is also fantastically confusing. the person I think would still be searching ! What was that again!!
    aunty big ganga sanam pic may he was looking for bathing picture ( snaan or snanam became sanam perhaps… should have been deeply disappointed!

    For obvious reasons I empathize with the hindi songs for licker lovers! Didn’t I discover you that way.

    I was travelling all across India to attend a wedding of a close relative in this lockdown time ( Airlines thought it would be beat for A to B to proceed via C where B in fact is located mid way between A & C. while returning till a day before boarding it was via D then they thought it would be too boring so they cancelled it and we had to go to E wait there for hours to get into a plane to come back to A.) The myriad forms to fill and print, e passes to be made, the RTCP tests to be taken and results collected in short notice and the precautions to be taken all meant this was wedding that I would not forget in a hurry. All is well that ends well. The wedding was attended by 22 people pandit and photographer included.
    So I missed out on the post and saw it only today on my return. Thanks madhu I enjoyed it and so I think did you.
    Let us hope normalcy returns soon and we may enjoy the small pleasures that we took for granted,

    • Thank you so much for suggesting I do this post! You’ve helped bring some cheer to a lot of people. Many (who haven’t even commented here) told me that this brought them joy in a time when it was sorely needed. So thank you!

      My goodness, your travel adventures sound really harrowing. Glad you’re back home and safe now. Stay safe!

      And yes, a word of appreciation for your suggestions about what these people might have been searching for. Some of those sound pretty plausible. :-)

  5. Really weird people out there who are confused about what they exactly want!
    I perhaps figured out this one somewhat Hindi sad song written in English not sung in Bollywood It perhaps means a sad Hindi film song with some lyrics in English which are only spoken and not sung. What do you have to say about my interpretation??😂

  6. Hello Dustedoff
    I am a new visitor to your blog because I discovered it only recently.. actually, just a couple of months ago after I had watched Bombay Talkies’ Kismet.. And ever since, I am a big fan of Kismet and of your writing. Your language has an easy flow and feel and keeps the reader riveted whether it is a positive review or not such a positive one..
    You are doing a wonderful job of keeping the conversation simple yet lively…I have a lot to catch up with, on the blog and will have to pick up speed which I hope to..

    As I read more, I learn more and I enjoy more.. and hence I read more.. It is a nice sweet chain reaction..
    Keep up the good show.. All the very best !!
    PS — I came to your blog courtesy a search related to Kismet… So you know what I had in mind.. Right ?

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